You And I
by Novoux
Summary: Shizuo thinks he has a better idea than he and Izaya moving in together. Shizaya


The clock keeps ticking on the counter, reminiscent of the hour passing in silence between them.

Usually when they have the day off like this they don't spend it in explosive arguments that leave them sitting on opposite sides of Shizuo's living room and kitchen. Or with Shizuo downing another glass of milk to keep himself calm, his fist shaking as he clenches his fingers tightly over the sound of clicking on a laptop keyboard across from him. Izaya sits on the couch, legs stretched out on the cushions as he leans against the armrest, trying to get some work done.

Just an hour ago, the entire room was shaking with anger. Some argument out of a simple comment, an idea suggested by Izaya nevertheless, and it led to broken plates, ruined dinner, and bitter silence between them. There is probably still mustard or mayonnaise on the wall from Shizuo's dinner, left from the burger hitting the wall at catatonic speed when aimed for Izaya's head.

If Shizuo sighs, it's mistaken for a growl from the other side of the sofa, listening intently for any more signs of anger. Not that it's intentional, acting more like a side effect of his subconscious forcing him to pay attention to the fact his boyfriend is angry and it's Izaya's fault. Another couple of ticks turn into thirty more and the seconds continue to keep passing by in a series of empty arms and waiting for the right thing to say.

More clicking by the seconds ticking by and Izaya hasn't gotten anywhere. Shizuo stands in the kitchen, deep breaths reminding himself why he shouldn't be so angry. Maybe he has a right to it, Izaya denies this, but it doesn't help how much he still wants to break something besides plates and cups littering the sink in pieces. Lack of communication has been a problem a couple times in the past, more so when they first started dating and Izaya didn't know how to keep from making Shizuo angry for the dumbest things.

And here's to think they've come anywhere far from that. Times like this never feel like it.

Outside is dark, the sun already set by the time Izaya slams his laptop lid shut, sighing in frustration because this is so _hard_ and he's not one for stirring up more when Shizuo is already like this. With one push of his legs to the floor and up on his feet, he keeps his eyes away from Shizuo, who's already sitting against the kitchen counter, his back turned away. One glance, by accident, confirms this—and then Izaya keeps staring, because this is his boyfriend he can't stop thinking of and fighting like this isn't like them.

When he pads to the kitchen Shizuo doesn't look up at him, head bowed and eyes shut, as far as Izaya can tell when he walks closer. His heart thuds loudly in his chest, slamming against his ribcage with deadly force, thinking that cornering a beast isn't the best thing to do. But to fix this, just to make _something_ better, then he's willing to try it.

"Shizu-chan, talk to me." Izaya clears his throat with a heavy swallow, his hand coming to cover Shizuo's hand bracing himself against the counter. "I'm not going to let you stir up any more stupid ideas because of one argument." It's a lot to say, chalking it up to the fact Izaya knows how much he loves Shizuo and he doesn't even understand why they're fighting in the first place.

Shizuo's hand lifts, fingers intertwining with Izaya's before he lifts his head, eyes closed and his other hand comes to rub at his forehead. He looks tired, in a confused and frustrated sort of way where fatigue builds from not knowing what to do. Izaya knows the look, he's seen it many times before.

"Iz," Izaya isn't a fan of the nickname, but when it comes out it means Shizuo is trying to be sincere over the clench in his teeth. "I'm not mad at you, no way." To prove his point lips meet Izaya's forehead, lingering in a chaste kiss as his other hand comes to brace against the back of his boyfriend's head. "I'm mad at myself for getting so angry over something that was never your fault. The argument we had...it's more my fault than you suggesting that we...move in together."

Izaya listens to his side of the story, eyes widening by a fraction at the news—after bringing up the topic of moving in together, Shizuo disagreed that it wouldn't be enough, something Izaya still doesn't understand. And from there Shizuo grew angrier and angrier, trying to dismiss what Izaya meant to find the meaning of, hence the broken plates and cups when Shizuo finally demanded he stop asking what Shizuo wouldn't say.

"I love you," Shizuo gently knocks his forehead against Izaya's, brown eyes melting in red ones when he sees how much he's affected his boyfriend, feeling the guilt sting in his throat and the way down into his stomach. It isn't supposed to be like this, not ever. Not to the point of making Izaya feel guilty—in Izaya's way of feeling guilt—over something taken entirely out of context. "And I'm sorry, Iz, I shouldn't be so fucking stupid. But you had to know, and I don't even know what to say."

Izaya eyes narrow, waiting. "And it was worth the broken plates and the burger thrown at my face?" From the soft look of wanting to fix this argument, his eyes suddenly become sharper as he pulls away from Shizuo, hand loosely in his boyfriend's. "So tell me, Shizu-chan, what is it?"

The blond sucks in a breath, thinking of what to say—how to possibly phrase such a thing because Izaya's still mad too from the argument, hurt from the look in his eyes and frustrated with the idea of Shizuo undermining him.

"I don't think you should move in with me," Shizuo offers, only to find his hand empty when Izaya rips himself away, tired of trying to play whatever game he thinks Shizuo's playing.

"Then _forget_ about it, Shizu-chan," the growl comes before Izaya's off to collect his things, intent on leaving as his jaw tightens in anger. By the time Shizuo blinks in surprise Izaya heads toward the door, his laptop zipped up in its bag and clearly looking like Shizuo has just ended this relationship without even _meaning_ to.

Izaya's hand is on the door, pulling it open with a harsh tug and stepping outside as soon as Shizuo calls for him to wait, mentally slapping himself for being this fucking stupid twice in a row. "Izaya, wait!" He's already heading to his boyfriend, not wanting to make a fool out of himself any longer when Izaya's already out of his apartment and there's no time for playing games of being too awkwardly stupid to grow up and say what he means.

"Izaya!" Shizuo calls again, the chill of outside hitting him and he grabs for his boyfriend. With a successful catch of Izaya's jacket he tightens his fingers into a fist, halting his boyfriend from running off and preventing one of the biggest mistakes he's ever about to make if he doesn't do this _now._

The timing may be off, but when Izaya stiffens and turns around, cheeks red and his eyes a little brighter, sharp and cold, Shizuo knows it's the right time because it's now or never.

"Please," Shizuo pleads softly, the hard stare from Izaya burning straight through him. "Listen to me. I didn't mean I didn't want you to move in with me."

Izaya doesn't look convinced, raising a brow in scathing skepticism. "Then what did you mean, Shizu-chan? Because I remember you saying that it wasn't a good idea to move in together. Did you want to call it off, Shizu-chan? Want to find a girlfriend who won't make you angry over asking to move in?" With how angry he sounds, Shizuo knows his boyfriend is covering up his own pain, buried deep because he knows it takes a lot to ask something like that when Izaya mentioned earlier he's been thinking about it for a long time.

"No, no," Shizuo takes a cold hand, the other digging in his pants pocket for a certain thing he's been holding on to for quite some time. When he grabs the small box, he carefully pulls out what's inside, covering it in his fist. "I wanted to do more than just move in together, but I didn't know how to say it because you're always on my mind, which means I can't keep myself straight." His breath feels feverish, face possibly burning up with the tinge of embarrassment coming from the sharp dig in his closed palm. Just _focus,_ he tells himself, swallowing again and hoping Izaya will listen this time, since he knows his boyfriend won't just leave it like this.

"I want to marry you," Shizuo keeps his eyes locked on Izaya's, revealing the rings in his hand and watches as Izaya looks down, a rigid shiver coming through his spine and into Shizuo's hand that holds his. And then there's silence, tight and controlled and almost too painful to breathe because the tension either rises from here into a breaking point or it mellows out. He hopes he's made the right decision, maybe not with the best timing or the best location, but what matters is that he doesn't mess this up any more than he already has.

The slow-spreading look of surprise almost confirms it. Almost. But Shizuo doesn't get down on a knee, preferring to hold out Izaya's left hand with his, fingers curling into his boyfriend's palm gingerly.

"So, will you marry me?" Shizuo holds out the ring, something simple and silver with tiny gemstones embedded in the silver, and if he holds it up to the light, an inscription is written inside the ring. Izaya stays quiet, contemplating when he takes the ring and holds it up to his eyes as if inspecting it to be the real thing. His lips part, Shizuo watching the sinuous curve of them as a breath comes, possibly an attempt to speak and for once without kissing him Shizuo has rendered Izaya speechless.

He kind of likes that feeling, burning low and warm in his chest.

And then Izaya glances back up to Shizuo, the ring sitting delicately in his palm after noticing the matching one in Shizuo's. Maybe he's never been one for fancy things, but Shizuo thinks it's entirely worth it to see the look of surprise on his boyfriend's face instead of the angry scowl.

"Do you mean it, Shizu-chan?" Izaya suddenly asks quietly, searching his boyfriend's eyes for something. Shizuo takes his hand to curl up Izaya's fingers over the ring, holding both of his hands and fighting the urge to just kiss him because Izaya is far too serious for something like this.

"I mean it," Shizuo replies, massaging the bones of Izaya's left hand with his thumb. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life, even if you think it's cheesy because I mean it and I want you to know how much I love you."

Izaya swallows thickly, blinking rapidly several times with a sigh. His eyes come back to Shizuo's, slowly scanning his face.

"...Okay."

A hand comes up to cup Izaya's cheek, coaxing him in for a kiss. It's much slower, sweeter, and Izaya's lips gently mold and press against his as they follow his lead, tasting like hot breaths and forgotten dinner. Not a usual kiss, not by any standard as Izaya's left fingers splay apart with the slip of the ring on his finger, taking his turn with Shizuo's and then their hands are locked and Shizuo can hear his own heartbeat erratically skipping over Izaya's quickened one. His lips are soft, velvety smooth and wet with saliva as the kiss lengthens, Izaya pulling himself in as close as possible and wrapping one arm around Shizuo's waist to keep himself there.

"Love you," Izaya breathes when they part for air, pressing soft kisses to Shizuo's jawline before they move back in for another kiss, shorter this time. "You stupid beast, I don't know why I even care."

Shizuo laughs at this, since he can't blame his boyfriend at all and leads him back to his apartment where they can celebrate in private, and maybe go out for dinner. All he knows now is that his thoughts are blank and it feels like he can barely breathe with how tightly Izaya holds onto him and wears the ring without hesitation. It means so much, what he's just done to him.

 _Us,_ he reminds himself absently, liking the way the word rolls off his tongue and doesn't realize he vocalized his thoughts until Izaya chuckles against him, head resting on his chest.

He and Izaya, _together_ and _finally._

* * *

 _I'm awful at fluff, but hey, I tried, right? I hope so._

 _Thank you for reading._


End file.
